Memories…

Do you remember the first time you stood on the beach and saw nothing but the ocean extending to the horizon and the waves crashing before you?

Do you remember the first time you saw the mountains rise from a distance and how they seemed to go on forever?

Do you remember your first day of school and not wanting to let go of your mother’s hand? Your last day of school and the excitement of going out into the world for the first time on your own?

Do you remember your first crush? Your first kiss? The first time you fell in love? The first time your heart was broken? The first time you broke someone else’s heart? 

Do you remember the first time you found out you were expecting a child? The first time you heard the baby’s heartbeat? The first ultrasound? The first kick? Seeing your baby for the first time and holding it? Hearing your child’s first cry? The first time they crawled and walked? Hearing their first word?

Do you remember your parents being your heros? Remember a time when they knew everything and then for a season they knew nothing at all? Do you remember the first time you realized how much they really loved you..unconditionally? How much they had done for you and sacrificed for you? Do you remember the first time you realized they wouldn’t be with you forever? Watching them get sick and weak? Watching them take their last breath?

There’s so much emphasis on memories, both good and bad that make us who we are. I love to remember and stay awhile inside my yesterdays. Of course it’s not good to stay there too long or we miss out on the present.

Everything and everyone in your life was once a “first time”.

Today I challenge you to appreciate and see everything and everyone you encounter as is it were the first time.

Really look at that sunrise or sunset. Listen to your children as if it were the first time you heard them speak. See the world around you as if it were the first time. Your home. Your neighborhood. The trees. The birds singing. Your pets. Your parents. Your friends. 

Oh, and don’t forget yourself! Really look at yourself and see who you are, inside and out. Forget the mistakes and heartache. The disappointments. Even the bad experiences and choices have made you who you are. Let it all go and see yourself… not only for who you are now, but for who you can become.

K❤

Another Year Older…

The day is almost over and I’m another year older, a little bit wiser, and very grateful.

It’s ironic that as children we can’t wait to get older and as adults we wish we could be free of all the responsibilities we have and slow down the clock. One piece of advice I would give to teens and young adults is this…don’t wish your lives away. Enjoy every moment because you won’t get them back.

Yes, my hair is getting gray, but I have a good hairdresser. She’s also a great person and good friend and that helps because I have to visit her more often than I once did.

I’m getting a few wrinkles around my eyes. Yes, they’re signs of aging, but also proof that I’ve laughed and cried. The laughter and tears have both helped me find a balance in life. 

One of the things I’ve worked on this past year is to not spend time worrying about things I can’t change…with myself and with others. I think I’ve made progress. It’s helped me find time for more laughter and not worrying about what others think of me. 

I am me and I am enough. On this birthday I vow to to be happy and feel joy as often as I can and to find it in all the little things we tend to take for granted. Tomorrows are what birthdays are about and I’m going to collect as many good memories as I can. 

I’m reminded of a few quotes as I close…

There is no expiration date on fabulous.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Lewis

God didn’t promise: days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain, but he did promise: strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Happy birthday to me…


Life In The Single Lane (2)…

I’m single. Don’t pity me. I’m not lonely. I choose to be single for now. It’s what I want.

Chances are if you chose to read this, you are single too. I’m enjoying my life very much right now and I’m not looking for a relationship. That confuses some people and I can see the pity in their eyes and hear it in their voices when they ask if I’m seeing anyone and I say no. 

I’ve never understood why some people think that happiness equals being in a relationship. I was married for sixteen years and wasn’t happy. In all fairness we had a few good years, but overall they were few and far between. I may feel lonely at times now, but I felt lonelier when I was married. 

I know people who jump from one relationship to another because they don’t want to be alone. I don’t get it. I’m not judging them for it and I even understand to a certain point, but I’m not wired that way. I’m introverted and for me, being alone at times isn’t a negative thing….I need it.

Being single can get lonely sometimes. I don’t go out on dates often, but I will go if I find the guy interesting. I won’t go just for the sake of having a date. Dating isn’t a priority. I’d much rather spend time with my daughter and my friends anyway. We always have fun!

Being single doesn’t scare me. It’s my chance to explore, take on new adventures, try new things, and make new memories. A chance to find what it is that I like. I’m no expert, but here a few ideas I thought I’d share….

Catch a plane to anywhere or get in the car and just go!

If you don’t have a friend to go with you, don’t let it stop you. It’s exciting to travel alone. You learn so much about the world and yourself. 

Treat yourself to a gift once in a while.

Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Get the new dress or shoes you’ve been wanting and pack them when you go on those trips we were talking about. Find something you like and get it.

Take yourself out.

Go to a movie. Go to dinner. Go to a concert. Go for a walk on the beach. Go to a farmer’s market. Do whatever it is you like to do. I’m not intimidated to go out alone anymore. Give it a try. 

Talk to yourself.

Not in public, but when you’re alone. It’s not weird. You know you do it anyway and it’s perfectly ok to do so. Who knows better than you what you need to hear…so go ahead and give yourself a pep talk.

Flirt.

Go out there and be as flirty as you want. Bat your eyes. Bite your lip. Flip your hair. Strut. I’m not good at flirting. A friend tried to teach me once and gave up! I did master the hair flip though. Flirting may be one of those things you either have or ya don’t, but it never hurts to try. What’s the worst that could happen? Someone might just think your awkwardness is adorable!

Read a good book.

Escape reality for awhile. 

Start a journal.

…or a blog! 

Experiment.

Try new things. Explore new hobbies. Go to a painting workshop. Take a cooking class. Volunteer or do some charity work. The opportunities are endless.

Keep your head up and smile.

Being single isn’t something to be ashamed of or pitied for. It’s the perfect time to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. We are responsible for our own happiness and I’m working very hard to accomplish that. I don’t want to be alone forever, but right now it’s exactly what I need. 

To be continued…

Your Past Does Not Define You…

A blogger friend left a comment regarding my 3 day quote challenge. They thought it would be interesting for me to pick a few quotes and blog about my reflections on those quotes. I’ve had writer’s block lately so I thought it was a fabulous idea.

I’m terrible at making decisions…it takes me forever. I recently joked to a friend that I should run for President and she replied, “No. You only have four years to make a decision”! 

Due to my decision making skills, I asked in the Community Pool forum for other bloggers to choose their favorite quotes from my post. Below is one of the winners…

We all have a past. There are good times and bad. We tend to focus on the bad things in our past and often times are filled with regret. Regret for things we did or did not do. Regret for things we said or did not say. 

We have all wished at one time or another that we had a rewind button. Yet at the same time those regrets/mistakes have made us into the people we are today. We learned lessons from the things we regret that we wouldn’t have learned otherwise. That’s how life works. 

Is there something you regret? Yes. Would you go back and do it again? Probably. Why? Because right or wrong, it’s what you thought you needed at the time.

I’m reminded of another quote while I’m writing this. We are all free to choose, but we are not free from the consequences of those choices. That’s where our lessons in life come from. 

We all have different ways to deal with our mistakes and regrets. There are people who don’t even get knocked down by them. They just walk away and move on. They don’t need to “feel” anything or figure it out. 

Then there are people like myself. We get knocked down and stay down for a bit. We need time to feel the emotions and try to figure out where we went wrong and why. Some might call it a “pity party”, but it’s not. It’s just how we’re made…to feel and to try and make sense of it all. We don’t stay down for long tho’. We may get knocked down, but we always get back up, brush ourselves off, and move forward. It just takes us a little longer than others and that’s okay. (Do my fellow INFJs agree?)

Some folks get knocked down in life and can’t get back up on their feet. Get back up and fight for yourself and do what you need to, to move on. It’s okay to take the time you need, but try to move forward even if you have to ask for help to do so. Just breathe. Take it a day at a time and it won’t seem so overwhelming. I promise you’ll look back one day and say, “I don’t know how I made it, but I did”!

Your past does not define you. Your mistakes and regrets do not define you. You learn from them and they make you who you are today. You’re wiser because of them.

Your past only deters and destroys you if you let it. We are all human and we all make mistakes. We’ve all been hurt or have hurt someone else. We’ve all been disappointed or had another disappoint us. We’ve all made decisions that have changed our lives for the worse, but remember…some our worst decisions lead to greater things in the future. Never give up! If you need to apologize and ask someone to forgive you…do it! That’s something you will never regret. Just remember to forgive yourself as well for your faults and mistakes and move forward.

Your past is behind you for a reason. Don’t let it defeat you. Let it strengthen you and make you a better person today…in spite of it all!

Life In The Single Lane…

I’m back on track to what I intended to write about last week. I’m glad I wrote “It’s The End Of A Chapter, Not The Book.” Sometimes the unplanned writings turn out okay.  I suppose I could have titled it “To Infinity And Beyond…Part 3”, but I only thought of that just now.

Thank you to everyone who read it. The comments that were left were very kind and much appreciated. 

Life in the single lane?  I’m in no rush to get back into the dating scene. I have no desire to be in a relationship or date anyone seriously at this time because I choose to just be me for awhile. I love it! There’s no drama. No compromising. No unfulfilled expectations.

I’ve been divorced for over a year and a half. I’ve been on a handful of dates with some nice men and a few not so nice men, but no one that I’m interested in seeing more than once. I’m just very particular and that’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned. 

There is one gentleman that I go to dinner or to the movies with occasionally, but just as friends. It’s platonic and it’s nice. There’s no pressure or drama to deal with and it’s a good way to ease myself into learning how to interact with other men after being married for 16 years.

After my divorce I didn’t know who I was anymore. I wasn’t the woman I was before I married and I wasn’t the woman I was while I was married. It didn’t freak me out or scare me to realize this. To know that I could just be me and do what I wanted, when I wanted, was exciting. 

My daughter is the main priority in my life right now. She’s another reason I’m in no hurry to be in a relationship. She’s just starting to date and she’s going to need my expertise to guide her in the right direction. Pray for me by the way! My focus is on her. Finding men to date is not a priority. I have friends who are “lost” if they’re not in a relationship, but that’s not me or something I even understand.

I have learned that the dating scene hasn’t changed all that much since my dating days before I was married. This isn’t an “I hate men” part of the post. I love men and there are a lot of great guys out there, but there are still players, men who will use you, and men who will say whatever needed to gain your favor. 

My ex husband had some serious issues, so presently I’m very cautious and not as trusting as I once was. Since my divorce, there was one man I began to slowly trust. I threw caution to the wind, but that didn’t work out too well for me. Live and learn!

And now there’s “ghosting”,benching“, and the latest term I read about recently, “zombieing”! In the old days it was called…”I’m just not that into you, but I’ll keep you around just in case”. 

I blame a big part of these new relationship trends on technology and the way people meet and interact with one another. You can “meet” someone instantly with the click of a button. That makes it really easy to pull a “Houdini” on someone and disappear just as quickly, with no thought or remorse about how it makes the other person feel. 

I could write an entire post on the messages I receive through the games I play on my phone. It’s crazy that people think I’ll just give up my phone number or access to my Facebook simply because they ask and want it. Uh…NO!!! I’m a private person outside of the blogosphere, but even if I wasn’t, I’d never consider giving out any of my info to a stranger. The only person I ever gave that info to was “Buzz” and that was after months of talking to him and getting to know him.

Ok, this post is getting longer than I wanted and I’m getting off track again, so I might write more another time if people show interest in it. If not, I’ll probably still continue with the topic! It’s my blog after all! Lol

In the meantime, I’ll just keep figuring out who I am and continue to be me. 

https://free2bme27.wordpress.com/2016/09/30/its-the-end-of-a-chapter-not-the-book/

This is the spontaneous post that sidetracked me last week. If you’re interested in reading please click on the link above.🙋🏻