I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their families. Christmas is just around the corner and I’m ready!
I went out with a friend Wednesday night to celebrate our birthdays….mine early and hers late. I’ve only know her for about 8 months and she’s become a really good friend. Like me, she’s single and has a teenager that keeps her busy, but we try to go out a few times a month to relax and have some fun.
We usually go to a local bar/restaurant close to home. The atmosphere is nice and the food is good. It’s not the kind of place people go to in the hopes of meeting someone of the opposite sex. My friend is the “single and ready to mingle” type. I’m more of the” single and ready to be nervous” type. Hopefully my awkwardness makes me adorable!
We’ve had guys buy us drinks, sit down and chat for awhile, and then move on. If they see us the next time we go in, they say “hey” and the whole process plays out again. Friendly guys hanging out in the neighborhood bar with no expectations other than to sit and talk for awhile. It’s nice.
After this happened the last time we were there, my friend and I had a discussion about being single and relationships. We’re both alike in a lot of ways. Can’t we just find a man who’s there when we want him to be and not there when we don’t?!? Sort of like, “Hey! Let’s go to the movies. Let’s go to dinner. Come over and hang out”….on our terms. Of course in our minds the men are perfectly fine with this arrangement. They actually like it.
Be there when we want you to and leave us alone when we don’t, but make sure you contact us once in awhile so we know we can still count on you when we want to see you again.
I know that sounds selfish and not very nice. It’s not because we’re mean. If we are, there are other women out there just like us because I’ve heard it said before. We just like our freedom, yet want to enjoy some male companionship minus the relationship BUT there also has to be a connection.
I’m certain we won’t always feel that way, but right now that’s the kind of “situationship” we’d like to think we could find. And no, I’m not talking about “no strings attached” sex or one night stands. That’s not who I am or who I want to be. I’m not passing judgement on anyone else. It’s just not something I’m comfortable with.
I’m not saying any of this would work out the way my friend and I talked about. It was just a conversation between two friends and in our perfect worlds, at this moment in time, that’s what we’d be interested in while we live life in the single lane.
Update…for the past several months I’ve been talking to a man who lives a few states away. He’s very nice. Friendly. Respectful. Successful. Funny. Interesting. Like me, he’s divorced. It’s nice to have someone to talk to again, but I have no expectations. I’ll just enjoy the interaction for the present and let the future take care of itself.