Melancholy…the feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. Or as I like to define it…and then suddenly I became sad for no reason at all.
There’s not a thing going on in my life to make me feel sad, but a few days ago this feeling of melancholy hit me out of the blue.
Maybe it’s the fact that the days are shorter now. Perhaps it’s because through the years I’ve had a lot of life changing events occur between now and the end of the year.
It could be because my birthday is just around the corner and I’ll be another year older. I don’t mean to complain. I know it’s just a number, but I also know I’m not invincible like I once thought when I was younger. Regardless of the cause, it always seems to hit me around this time of year.
The reason I’m writing about this today is because it started me thinking about my personality type. Im an INFJ and I’ve read that those of us with this personality type tend to be prone to feelings of melancholy. Perhaps it’s the way we see the world and the depth to so many things.
I’m not sure I would say that I am melancholic in nature…. I don’t always feel this way. I have my moments and I recover quickly. Sometimes I feel quite content, joyful even a little spunky. I’m a bit complex and I don’t always know exactly how I feel. I can be moody and my mood can change quickly, but I do try to hide it when I feel sad. Some times I can, but most times I’m somber and withdrawn when the meloncholy strikes. Let’s just say I’m not a good actress when it comes to hiding how I feel, but I am a hopeless optimist. However sad or upset I may become, to whatever depths of depression I may descend, it is impossible for me to lose hope entirely.
I’m curious to see how other INFJs feel about melancholy and our personality type. I feel most of the time INFJs are very positive people, but at the same time there’s something in our eyes that makes people ask “Are you okay?” Is it because of our complexity? Our differences from society? Our need to have answers and figure things out? Are INFJs sad in nature? I’m very curious.
At our core, when the doors are locked and the shutters closed…maybe we let the melancholy take over for awhile, but at the same time we can be incredibly positive, upbeat, loving people when we are all by ourselves. We’re complicated like that!
We are very layered which is both a gift and a curse. We have so much “stuff” to figure out about everything including ourselves. In a world that’s increasingly fake and a society that keeps pushing people to “be happy” by taking pills and denying reality, a little melancholy truthfulness is needed sometimes…and a breath of fresh air.
Any thoughts? Feel free to discuss.
In the meantime here are some quotes by author JmStorm. If you know who he is let me know because I couldn’t find much info about him. I did find these quotes on Pinterest and what better way to express yourself when you’re melancholy than with quotes! Interestingly enough, the first and last quotes deal with “the door”.
*Sometimes we shut the door on the things and people we care about because we know. We know that if it was right they wouldn’t be on the other side.
*I’ve learned that waiting for another to give you closure is like waiting for the dead to bury themselves. Do yourself a favor and grab a shovel.
*She’s strong, but not in the way most people think. She cares more than she’ll ever get back and she knows it. And yet she cares anyway.
*How odd it is that so much of what isn’t said, isn’t said because it’s the truth.
*Never look to be fed by the one who could stand there and watch you starve.
*One day I put together the puzzle of who I always was. And I was okay with being the only one who understood.
*Pay close attention to the manner in which one closes the door. Burn it into your mind. Good or bad, that is who they really are.
For what it’s worth when I think of this last quote I not only think about the INFJ door but also the door to my home. If you were to come to my home, I would not shut the door as soon as you walk out. I’ll always walk you to the door and most times I’ll even walk outside with you. I stand there until you drive away and wave at you as you go. Then I shut the door. Always have. Always will.
It’s sort of like the INFJ “door”… I just can’t “close” the door until I know you’re “gone”. I don’t know if the metaphor makes sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me.