Life In The Single Lane (2)…

I’m single. Don’t pity me. I’m not lonely. I choose to be single for now. It’s what I want.

Chances are if you chose to read this, you are single too. I’m enjoying my life very much right now and I’m not looking for a relationship. That confuses some people and I can see the pity in their eyes and hear it in their voices when they ask if I’m seeing anyone and I say no. 

I’ve never understood why some people think that happiness equals being in a relationship. I was married for sixteen years and wasn’t happy. In all fairness we had a few good years, but overall they were few and far between. I may feel lonely at times now, but I felt lonelier when I was married. 

I know people who jump from one relationship to another because they don’t want to be alone. I don’t get it. I’m not judging them for it and I even understand to a certain point, but I’m not wired that way. I’m introverted and for me, being alone at times isn’t a negative thing….I need it.

Being single can get lonely sometimes. I don’t go out on dates often, but I will go if I find the guy interesting. I won’t go just for the sake of having a date. Dating isn’t a priority. I’d much rather spend time with my daughter and my friends anyway. We always have fun!

Being single doesn’t scare me. It’s my chance to explore, take on new adventures, try new things, and make new memories. A chance to find what it is that I like. I’m no expert, but here a few ideas I thought I’d share….

Catch a plane to anywhere or get in the car and just go!

If you don’t have a friend to go with you, don’t let it stop you. It’s exciting to travel alone. You learn so much about the world and yourself. 

Treat yourself to a gift once in a while.

Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Get the new dress or shoes you’ve been wanting and pack them when you go on those trips we were talking about. Find something you like and get it.

Take yourself out.

Go to a movie. Go to dinner. Go to a concert. Go for a walk on the beach. Go to a farmer’s market. Do whatever it is you like to do. I’m not intimidated to go out alone anymore. Give it a try. 

Talk to yourself.

Not in public, but when you’re alone. It’s not weird. You know you do it anyway and it’s perfectly ok to do so. Who knows better than you what you need to hear…so go ahead and give yourself a pep talk.


Go out there and be as flirty as you want. Bat your eyes. Bite your lip. Flip your hair. Strut. I’m not good at flirting. A friend tried to teach me once and gave up! I did master the hair flip though. Flirting may be one of those things you either have or ya don’t, but it never hurts to try. What’s the worst that could happen? Someone might just think your awkwardness is adorable!

Read a good book.

Escape reality for awhile. 

Start a journal.

…or a blog! 


Try new things. Explore new hobbies. Go to a painting workshop. Take a cooking class. Volunteer or do some charity work. The opportunities are endless.

Keep your head up and smile.

Being single isn’t something to be ashamed of or pitied for. It’s the perfect time to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. We are responsible for our own happiness and I’m working very hard to accomplish that. I don’t want to be alone forever, but right now it’s exactly what I need. 

To be continued…


13 thoughts on “Life In The Single Lane (2)…

  1. I was single too and I was experiencing the same feelings as you. But then I realized that being single isn’t good for me anymore and I didn’t grow up as much as I wanted to. But I am in the relationship now and it helps me to improve myself. But great post, so much true in it and I am glad you are happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good for you, society expectations or different perspectives point towards a ‘norm’ but really what is the ‘norm’? I feel it should be whatever way you choose to live your life. Peace and blessings! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nicely written. I like the thought that being single gives you the space to go deeper and figure out who you are. I also feel that sometimes we put up a brave front for ourselves and for society, which may feel like justifying single-hood and may not be completely authentic. Who is to say whether that is right or wrong, but it does keep away the “pity in people’s eyes”, the pressures of society, the self inflicted pressures (if any) and one starts being treated as normal. Once that happens, I think we can truly explore and take on new adventures like you have been doing. Thank you for writing this article.

    Liked by 1 person

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