No one is ever too busy for you. That’s a lie. You make time for what you want to make time for.
Hearing someone say they were “too busy” to return a phone call or text burns my butt. I’m not talking about someone responding hours or days later because they truly were busy with something. I get that. I’m talking about someone who doesn’t bother to respond at all or always uses it as an excuse to not get back to you until they’re darn good and ready. I’m talking about someone who consistently uses it as an excuse for their behavior.
The possibilities are endless in this day and age in communicating with one another so why is “I’m too busy’ becoming the norm? It only takes a few seconds to type out a quick message…even if it’s to say “I’ll get back to you later”. Of course for it to mean anything they have to follow thru. Over time you’ll figure out if “I’ll get back to you later” are the same empty words as “I’m busy”. Time is a good revealer of empty words and broken promises.
If someone says “I’ve been really busy, but I’ll call you as soon as things calm down”, but they never do, it’s essentially the same thing as saying, ” I’m never going to talk to you again unless I accidentally run into you someplace and I’m forced to interact with you”.
Now I may be impatient, but I think I’m reasonable in expecting a response. I understand it may take hours or even a day or two to get back to me, but when you are always putting off responding to me and then telling me how busy you are, it’s a pretty good indicator that you didn’t want to get back to me in the first place or at the very least, you felt like you’d better respond in case you decide you might need something from me at a later time.
I never tell someone I’m too busy. I’ll drop whatever I’m doing if you really need me at that moment. I’ll always make time for you. It’s just not something I say to anyone…ever. I have a friend who has four kids. They are all a few years apart in age and it upsets her when someone tells her they’re too busy. She knows what busy is, but she still always finds time for people when they need her and not once has she ever uttered the words “I’m too busy”. She would be justified in saying it, but she never does.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day and guess what? We all have things to do. We all have jobs, kids, activities, homework, laundry, housework, yard work, errands, bills, hobbies, and a ton of other things to get done in that 24 hour period. You may have less free time than I do, but you’re still capable of responding in a reasonable amount of time…that is, if you really want to.
I also understand people have to prioritize things in their life, but when someone is always “too busy” for you you’re not even on their list. If someone repeatedly ignores you or takes forever to get back to you, it’s a choice on their part. They are not “too busy”. People also use the excuse that they’re “too busy” to avoid having to deal with something that they’d rather ignore.
Things come up, emergencies happen, work and life can get more hectic at times than others. Life happens, but this I believe….if someone really wants to talk to you they will find at least a few minutes to do so, no matter what they’re facing. When you hear “too busy” the majority of time, it’s an excuse not a fact.
Again, this post isn’t about someone who occasionally takes a while to respond or forgets once in awhile. It’s about the people who consistently use “I’m too busy” or “I’ve been too busy” on a regular basis. It also applies to those who are always “too busy” to get together or hang out with you because….blah, blah, blah.
Just man or woman up and say “I don’t want to invest my time in this friendship or relationship. It’s not a priority to me right now”. Quit with the “I’m too busy”.
Other than the fact that saying they’re “too busy” is total crap, they also have the audacity to think that we aren’t intelligent enough to decode their crap.
I’m “too busy” is a common cop out and it’s become far too acceptable and even expected. What’s most frustrating about “I’m too busy” is that it’s pretty much a slap in the face to the person it’s directed to. You might as well say to them, “everything in my life is more important and worth more of my time than you”. You’re not a priority. I’d venture to say you’re not even an option to them.
If someone keeps telling you they’re “too busy”, eventually you have to take this as a sign that they’re too busy for you. If you matter to someone they make time for you, just as you do for them. Being busy is legitimate until it’s not anymore, and you’ll know when it’s not.
The fact of the matter is, if you don’t respond to me or only respond when you feel like it or it’s convenient for you, you aren’t a real friend. You aren’t worthy of my time, energy, or consideration.
As I said earlier, I never say I’m too busy for anyone, but I am “too busy” for that.