Exactly 6 months ago today I met him in person. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know who I’m talking about. In my blog I call him Buzz. Why? Because his last message to me ended with…”please give me some space and time”.
Buzz Lightyear. To infinity and beyond. Do ya get it?! I was tempted to call him Jackass, but Buzz seemed more appropriate.
But back to the story. We met online. Lived in the same city. Had mutual interests and things in common. We communicated by text messages for five months before meeting. I wasn’t sure we’d ever meet, but we finally did on Friday the 13th in November. I’ve never been superstitious so I didn’t give it a second thought.
I was very excited and nervous. I wanted to make a good first impression so I spent a lot of time getting ready. I’m not gonna go into a lot of details because I want to keep the memories of that day to myself and just between he and I. I don’t want to share everything but I will share this….
The kiss. 💋
As I said, we talked for a long time before meeting. One thing he focused on was wanting a kiss. Sometimes he’d text to say he wanted to stop by just to get his kiss. I didn’t take him up on it for a long time but I wanted it to. I even asked him to explain how he would kiss me for the first time and he did.
When he knocked on the door that day six months ago, I was soooo nervous. I peaked around the door as I opened it and there he was. I let him in and we stood in the hallway and said hello. I invited him to come inside and have a seat and he said, “I want my kiss”. Very in control..like he wasn’t doing anything else until he got it and I liked it! I said okay and he proceeded to kiss me exactly the way he explained it in his text. It was amazing! I’ll never forget it.
I won’t forget the way his lips felt on mine…the way his hand felt on the back of my neck…the way my hands felt on his arms and shoulders…the way he put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me against him. It was a perfect moment.
He came in and we spent some time together and talked before he had to go. It’s always scary to meet someone for the first time but he made it easy. When he left he kissed me goodbye and said “see ya later”. A few minutes later he knocked on the door. He forgot his sunglasses and was back for them. He came inside to get them and at the door said, “Ahhh, one more” as he kissed me one last time before leaving.
That’s what I remember most about this unlucky, lucky day. The kiss we both waited five months for. It was worth waiting for and it was awesome!
I’ll write more about him another time because this day has brought back some memories and they’re not all good. You can read about that in my first two posts and find parts of him in some of my others. I started this blog to gain closure and express what I was feeling because he couldn’t give that to me. Well, I did get excuses so I guess that counts as closure, but I had questions I didn’t get to ask and have answered. That’s what I needed from him and I didn’t get it. I’ve accepted that I won’t ever have those answers and today is a reminder of that fact.
Because of the memories and the fact that I miss him a little at the moment, I have a few things I want to write about…but not today. I don’t want to tarnish the memory of the kiss.
I do my best not to think about him anymore, but today I couldn’t help it. I’ve chosen to remember something positive about my experience with him.
In the long run, things didn’t work out the way we talked about. The relationship didn’t fail because of bad luck or superstition. It was a Friday like any other…only on this Friday, two people who were interested in one another met for the first time and the date happened to be the 13th.
I will say this though. There is a curse that comes with kissing someone for the first time on Friday the 13th. If the kiss was amazing and one of the best you’ve ever had, it’s not only hard to forget…it’s impossible. Sometimes you get lucky on the unluckiest day of the year.