Slamming The Door…

Oh what a week it’s been! I hesitated to write this, but since I’m anonymous on here I figured…what the hell!

We’ve all at some point worked with that one person…annoying, immature, selfish, manipulative, deceitful, conniving..,you get the point. I do believe I work with someone who exhibits all of these qualities.

To most people she appears to be the opposite of who she really is. Poor, pitiful, you know who. People feel sorry for her and her circumstances which she uses to her advantage. She never does anything wrong. It’s always someone else’s fault. It’s always why, why, why! I won’t go on about who she pretends to be, but rather who she really is, but first a little back story….

Working in a small place with multiple women is a conundrum in itself. Days filled with drama comes to mind as a description. You’re always gonna have those who like to stir the pot. Those who can’t mind their own business and make everything their business. But this one made a fatal mistake…months ago she told some lies about me to my supervisor…she wanted my hours (or perhaps it was one of those if she couldn’t have them no one else was going to have them either situations) and that’s how she got the ball rolling. Now, she’s done it to another one of my coworkers who worked the same hours as me and finally the evil one got what she wanted in a two part play. Her plan started with me and ended with my coworker.

I won’t go into all the specifics. It doesn’t matter. The point of the post is what happens when you go behind my back and those of my coworkers with lies and betrayal.

I’m an INFJ. I’ll give a person a lot of chances. I’ll forgive and try to understand. However, now I’m slamming the door on this coworker. She’s done me and so many others wrong one too many times. It’s going to be a tricky situation…I still have to work with her so I’ll have to be civil and talk to her when it’s work related, but in other matters she will get to enjoy my silence. I’m done with her on a personal level.

If anyone were to ever go “postal” in our office, it would be her. We joke about it sometimes, but I truly believe it. Maybe not in the sense of storming in with a weapon, but she’s been accused of keying a few cars that belong to her fellow employees after they’ve “upset” her.

Who is she? To those who haven’t known her long she’s an overly friendly, hyper, individual who seems to care about you and your life. To me she is an obnoxious, frenzied, manic, nosy woman. She lies, manipulates, and connives to get what she wants and she will step on and then over you all the while protesting her innocence and insist “I didn’t mean for that to happen”! I. Call. Bullshit! The guiltier she is the harder she tries to prove her innocence.

I recently had a coworker tell me she tries to stay on her good side so she doesn’t stab her in the back. Looks as though her facade is fading and others are seeing her for who she really is. My response was…quit appeasing her! She’s gonna stab you in the back anyway. I proceeded to say the individual in question doesn’t scare me. I know who she is behind the mask she wears. Not only do I not like her, but I won’t be forced to engage with her on a personal level and will keep all professional contact to a minimum. If she wants to mess with me after that, bring it on!! I see her for who she is and I’ve slammed the door on her. I’m done feeling sorry for her or trying to understand her. I think she may even be a sociopath. Really! I do! It’s worth mentioning one of her adult children won’t have anything to do with her after leaving home unless she absolutely has to.

I thank you all for listening to my rant. I’m angry and frustrated because things aren’t as they appear to those in charge, but I do believe the truth will come out eventually and all will see her without her mask…not just me and a select few. I do feel better after writing this and if someone else is dealing with a similar situation, I’d love to hear your thoughts or how you’ve handled it.

I think she realizes I’ve slammed the door on her even if she’s never heard of it and she doesn’t get what it truly means. I wish I could really slam a door in her face! I predict she’ll badger me trying to make me talk to her and make everyone feel sorry for her because I’m being mean to her. When she starts in I’ll just smile and say, ” sorry, too busy for personal conversation”! We all know that’s INFJ code for “Don’t even try…I’m done with you bitch”

Advertisements

Caney Fork River Valley Grill…

While visiting Nashville this weekend we dined at Caney Fork River Valley Grill. Here is the link if you’d like to have a look…

http://www.caneyforkrestaurant.com

The food is amazing. The service was great from the moment we walked in and continued until we left. The complimentary corn fritters, dusted with powdered sugar were soooo delicious!

We chose fried green tomatoes as our appetizer. I make mine with flour instead of cornmeal so they weren’t what I was expecting, but they were still good. I think next time I’d ask for ranch as the dipping sauce though.

For my main course I chose the burger with a fried egg, cheese, and bacon…I think cholesterol burger was mentioned to describe it on the menu. It came with fries and was very tasty! My 2 companions had the fried catfish dinner and chicken finger dinner. They both enjoyed their meals as well.

None of us saved room for dessert, but I believe there was a fire pit inside the restaurant where you could make your own s’mores.

We enjoyed our visit and I would definitely recommend eating here. Since it was Christmas the restaurant was decorated for the occasion. Here are a few photos…

Tennessee’s Winter Wonderland….

Merry Christmas everyone!

This past weekend we took a road trip to Nashville, Tennessee to visit the Gaylord Opryland Resort…specifically to stroll thru the indoor and outdoor gardens and enjoy their Christmas decorations.

It really has to be seen so I’m not even going to try and describe it. It’s a beautiful sight to behold and will be one of my favorite Christmas memories for years to come. I took many photos and would now like to share some of my favorites with you!

A Spectacular Spectacle…

Took a little daytrip/roadtrip this weekend to the Jack o’ Lantern Spectacular in Louisville, Kentucky. It truly is spectacular!

It was a nice, chilly Fall evening. As you walk along the trail you feel as though you’re walking through an art gallery and the artists used pumpkins as their canvas. The theme this year was A to Z.

Their website describes it like this…

The Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular is from October 12– November 5, will be held in Iroquois Park with 5,000 carved pumpkins lining a ¼-mile walking trail, illuminated at night as an “art show” daily from dusk to 11 p.m. during the week (Sunday-Thursday) and midnight on Friday & Saturday.

Here is the link:

/http://www.jackolanternlouisville.com/

Sometimes there is a wait to walk the trail, but I feel the later you go the less time you’ll wait. Expect to wait on the weekends…but I promise, it’s worth it. You can also buy coffee, hot chocolate, hot apple cider, and beer before entering the “art gallery”.

I’m going to keep it short and let the photos do the talking. I took them all with my iPhone. No flash. Unfortunately I did not get photos from each section. Without further ado…

A ~ Alice In Wonderland 



C ~ Clocks




D ~ Dinosaurs 



E ~ Elephant




F ~ Fairytale 



K ~ Kingdom (Westeros/Game Of Thrones)


L ~ Literature



M ~ Music



R ~ Remembrance 



S ~ Seashore 



T ~ Thinkers



V ~ Vampire



W ~ Whimsical 


…..that’s just a sampling. If you’re in the area, go see for yourself. You won’t be disappointed!!

Follow up on I’m Sorry You Feel That Way….

I’ve noticed for quite some time that this particular post is viewed on a daily basis by several different individuals…on some days it’s as many as five. It has never been one of my popular posts on WordPress. I was curious as to why my stats show it has been viewed on an almost daily basis since I wrote it over a year ago. So…me being me I decided to Google the words “sorry you feel that way” and there it was…the link to my blog post on page 2 of Google.

I’m not sure why this one post is getting so many views, but I think it’s safe to say several people a day are googling those words because they want to know just what they mean to other people.

Since writing that post I’ve come a long way from the woman I was at that time. The person that was on my mind when I wrote it is now a distant memory.  On the rare occasions that he does cross my mind…I have no feelings at all, good or bad. I know now I never needed anything from him to gain closure and move on. I did it all on my own in my own time. I wrote about the experience from my perspective and how I felt. No one but myself and the other person knows the extent of what was said to cause me to feel the way I did and that’s the way I want it. At the time I cared, but now I see that I don’t need anyone in my life that would make me feel guilty for having feelings or an opinion. I still believe they never meant to hurt me, but to blame me while maintaining his innocence was cowardly. Maybe I’m not completely over that part, but that’s good because it stays as a reminder to be more careful next time.

I am fascinated that people still read it long after I made peace with the situation that caused me to write it. The only comment it received was from someone who said “I think it’s impossible to make anyone feel a certain way. It’s their responsibility to own their own feelings. The phrase is not uncaring or dismissive”.

I will agree that a person should own their own feelings. The commenter did get that part right! I did own my feelings and the part I played in the situation. I know where I failed and what my shortcomings were….and I learned from it. Some of life’s best lessons come from difficult times.

But in my opinion where the commenter got it wrong is here…we’ve all said something to someone that made them feel a certain way that wasn’t good. We all perceive things differently, we all have different personalities, and we all feel things differently. Things said CAN be misinterpreted, but if you said them, you still own them and you should be prepared to answer for them honestly.

So while we have to own our own feelings it doesn’t mean we should be ashamed of how we feel or made to feel like we’re wrong for feeling the way we do. It’s okay to feel, but we are responsible for how we react and respond. In other words, feel it, but don’t make a bad situation worse in the way you interact with others. Feel it but don’t let it control you.

Now having said that, there will always be people in this world that will say all the right things for all the wrong reasons. People lie. They’re deceitful and manipulative. They know what to say to get what they want. They prey on the vulnerable and weak. When it’s time for them to back those words up with action, it’s never their fault. You took it wrong. You misunderstood. You’re too emotional….and they’re very fond of saying “I’m sorry you feel that way.

So while I moved on long ago from my experience, the lesson it taught me remains. Just because I mean what I say and back those words up with action, doesn’t mean everyone else does too. Not everyone has the same heart as I do.  I don’t trust people until they’ve proven to me that I can and I have a wall around me for my protection. It’s not very high because I still try to see the good in everyone, but it’s there nonetheless. 

…and on the occasions that my words or actions hurt someone, I acknowledge their feelings, give them a sincere apology, and do whatever I can to own my part for hurting them. Sometimes that means brutal honesty in the way I feel, but I’ll never make anyone feel bad for the feelings they have. I’ll listen, do my best to understand, and NEVER say “I’m sorry you feel that way”!

Here are a few memes because let’s face it…a lot of people do believe “I’m sorry you feel that way” IS a fake apology.

Thanks for reading and feel free to let me know what you think.. 

Cabin On The Lake…

Once upon a time there was a cabin in the woods. A beautiful, secluded little place with a fireplace and a hot tub on the deck. 

It was a special place. A place where the two of them could meet and get away from the world. Their secret hideaway. 

It doesn’t matter who they are or what their names are. All that matters is at the cabin they could be together and be themselves… or whoever they wanted to be.

They spent the day swimming together in the lake and picnicking on a blanket under a shady tree. They would drink wine and share stories so they could get to know one another better. They would kiss and neither one of them wanted to stop.

In the evenings they would enjoy a glass of wine while sitting in the hot tub and watch for shooting stars under a clear, starry night. 

They would lay in each other’s arms on the couch in front of the fireplace. They enjoyed each other’s company and their passion roared as bright as the fire. As the fire died, they lie together listening to the crickets chirping as a light breeze blew through the open window and a soft rain began to fall. She lays with her head on his chest as he plays with her hair. He kisses her goodnight exactly as he said he would and they fall asleep after an amazing day spent together.

It’s a nice story isn’t it? I wish I could say it were true, but it’s not. They’ve never met and they probably never will. 

If the fire matched the intensity of their conversations it would burn the cabin down. 

For now, the sun glistens on the lake. An empty blanket lays under a tree as a quiet breeze blows through the leaves. The hot tub sits empty. The crickets chirp and the stars shine on a clear, quiet night. They shine down on that empty cabin as the rain begins to gently fall. 

….and a single ember burns in that fireplace waiting for one of them to ignite it or put it out.

The Lonely INFJ…


Are INFJs just lonely souls lost between reality and dreams?

I don’t presume to speak for all of us, but we do seem to go through a lot of the same things…or as most of the world would say, we have “issues”.  We walk a lonely path most days, that’s for sure!

Feeling lonely is hard. I’ve felt lonely more times than I care to remember. Some days I want to be out in the world socializing and other days I want to hide away at home. If I become intensely lonely I’ll reach out to a few trusted friends and it does help me feel better to talk about how I feel. The problem is, as much as they care and try to understand how I feel, they don’t get me. Try as they might, they never will. I’ve learned to accept it.

I long to make a connection with someone…someone who understands me. I’ve met many interesting, kind, funny, intelligent, caring people but usually the moment comes when I realize they don’t understand me. IF I decide to show them a small part of who I really am…my different, sincere, quirky side they can become unresponsive or they tolerate it. I realize they aren’t going to be the friend I had hoped they’d be and the alienation and lonliness floods back in. I’ve learned to hold that side of myself back from a lot of people. I don’t know if it’s a failure on my part or that people just can’t relate to me.

In the past month I’ve been told by two close friends that “other people just don’t think like you do” (in regards to a certain man I talk to occasionally and just life in general). That’s the truth and I know it! Others don’t think and feel the same way as I do. I’m willing to do things and go the distance where others aren’t, and they don’t react in the same way as I do because I always feel more…more than I should and I know it.

I have moments where I think “what’s wrong with me”. What is it about me that turns people away? Is it all in my head? Am I being unreasonable in not getting the response from them that I want? Am I too weird, sensitive, intense, serious, boring, hard to understand? Now, not only am I lonely, but I’m insecure.

I know I spend a lot of time inside my head and overthink every little thing that crosses my mind. When I get this way I try to get out and interact with others, but it’s hard because I always have to hide a part of myself, the part that makes me, me. Putting myself in that situation can make me feel even lonlier than I did before. It’s a very lonely feeling that those you care about most don’t understand you and they never really will.

We all yearn for a deep, touch your soul kind of relationship and those are difficult to find regardless of your personality type. 

I know I take thing way too seriously, but I’ve never been a “live in the moment” kind of girl. As hard as I try, I can’t go with the flow and I overthink and over analyze things and situations. I want all the answers even though I know I’ll never get them. We don’t react the same way as other people do and we feel things differently as well.

I was told by my boss not long ago during my evaluation that out of all her employees I was the only one she couldn’t get a read on and figure out. She actually thought I didn’t like her. (I do by the way) Why would she think she could figure me out when I haven’t accomplished it myself! I jokingly told her when she figured me out to let me in on it. She must have thought it was funny because I received a glowing evaluation. 

Anyone who’s an INFJ could answer this for her though. We’re guarded on purpose. We have to be. We want more than anything to be understood, but it rarely happens. The times we’ve opened up to the wrong people is a brutal reminder to keep most things to ourselves.

Dating and meeting new people in regards to romance is a topic in itself! It’s hard enough, but for INFJs, or this one anyway, it’s devastating when you think you’ve made a connection with someone and it doesn’t go anywhere or fizzles out. Maybe it has nothing to do with my personality type. Maybe I’m just meeting the wrong people…people who’s intentions aren’t as sincere as mine. Trust me…I haven’t even begun to show them who I am so if the little I do show them causes them distress, it’s best they run as fast as they can. The sooner the better for both our sakes. 

As much as I’d like to be antisocial and just go off and live in a cave most days, I can’t because I crave human connections. I don’t always fit in and I’m at peace with that. We have gifts and talents that are needed to help others. Even though people hurt us and use us, overall we do make a difference…WE DO COUNT! Most people won’t miss us until we’re gone and I hate to say this, but once we’re gone, there’s no coming back, it’s too late. Whether it’s the infamous INFJ door slam or deciding to keep those people in our lives yet hiding our true selves from them to make them comfortable….we know.

Being lonely and the deafening silence that surrounds that lonliness is for me, one of the bad things about being an INFJ, but as I said above…we do count. We have many other great qualities that make us the unique individuals that we are. 

All that aside, for once in our lives thanks to blogs and the internet, WE ARE NOT ALONE! We have each other right here to talk to. It’s not the same as physical contact, but it sure makes me feel a little less lonely!
K❤️